Hopelessly Hopeful; 3 Steps Beyond Hopelessness
Free Relationship Advice, from Relationship-Oneness.com
I just spent about an hour with someone I care deeply for; their world is spinning and the thought of making personal growth changes, seems like a mountain too tall to climb.
Have you ever felt like that? I know I have, many a times. We feel uncomfortable in our own skin, where every move we make seems only to be a facade masking the pain we feel. Consequently, the decisions we make in how we treat ourselves and others, are seriously lacking the love we desire to give and receive.
Yes, it’s easy to put on a smile, but in times of silence the honesty of how we truly feel can become too much to bear. So… in knowing this, how is it that one can find hope for the moment at hand and begin to live as though life was something to be desired?
I am laughing right now because as I think about what to write next, this post might turn out to be 10,000 words long. That’s not what I had in mind lol. I’ll keep it short 
Here is the simply answer…
- Find the areas in your life where you CAN make change NOW, with ease.
- Be honesty with change, and don’t sell yourself short.
- Don’t resist that which you are unable to change now.
Step1 - Find where you CAN make change NOW, with ease.
(song quiz… step 1, we can have lots of fun.)
This is what I have found to work for me. Will it work for you….? lol How bad do you want to find out. The first step, “Find the areas you can change, with ease.” Did you ever notice how when we sink into that dark hole of hopelessness, we over-generalize to the max. We begin to say things like, “everything is all screwed up,” or “why does this happen every time.” I guess that would make sense if we are feeling hopeless, that’s kinda the point, we feel as though there is no solution.
Whenever we begin to over-generalize, we might be well served to see it as an alarm; saying…”whooaaa, ding ding ding ding, I am not seeing true reality!” This might help because obviously “everything” is not all screwed up, we are only focusing on the parts that are (or are perceived to be). The truth of the matter is, yes we may feel overwhelmed, but there are still things we can do. Do what you can, let it be in love, and choose something – no matter how small – that brings you more into alignment with the experience you are after.
Step2 - Be honesty with change
(step 2, there’s so much we can doooo.) <–continued song quiz
Be honest, this can sometimes be the most difficult part. We get trapped in self denial as we emotional convince ourselves that “there truly isn’t anything I can do.” I’m gonna through out a “bs” alert. You and I both know that’s not true. You’re only selling yourself short. What are some ways around this irrational thought pattern? What I have found to be helpful in the past, is to (when I’m happy and full of joy) make a list of the little things I CAN do to bring myself back on track when I do get down in the dumpy dumps.
Find time when you are happy to write down 50 actions you could take when you feel as thought life has left you behind. Make sure you write this list with a smile on your face, hopefully that smile will come through in your list when you’re feeling down. The obvious next step, is to keep this list in an accessible place and read through it next time you feel as though “everything” is falling down around you (you might also want to read the list on a regular basis, no need to wait till you feel like crap). Let this list remind you of reality, which ultimately says, No – you are not powerless, you only choose to be without power.
Step3 – Don’t resist that which you are unable to change now
(step 3, it’s just you and meeeeee.)
Don’t resist what you are unable change. If you find yourself in a place where a project is just too overwhelming and the thought of changing it creates resistance in your heart, then leave it be, and go back to step 1. For myself, I have found when doing work with resistance, or where I’m not enjoying myself, the progress I do make is short lived and is nothing I’m ever really proud of. Personally I also believe that when we move with love, our creation potential is much stronger then when we move in stress or fear.
I see this example at play a lot with my job (the 9-5). Even though ideally I would rather be working on this site all day. If I resist where I am at now in my job, I become stressed, this results in making poor choices while I’m there and making less money, since it’s commission based. Ultimately I become less happy, which really is the key point. Regardless if I’m making more or less money there, if I’m not at peace, then my actions become pointless.
Personal Growth Experience
I will also point out how this process has worked well for me in the past, as far as using these steps. Before I started writing and moving towards a truer purpose, I really hated my job(s). No, you didn’t hear me, I really really hated my job, and I had only been there a few months. You know, to think about it, I’ve hated a lot of jobs I’ve had. Ever since I started PawUpClose.com, which was in August of 08, my world has been changing. Why? Because…
Step 1, I found the areas I could change in regard to where I spent my time. Granted I had a family to take care of, so generating income at a job was kinda mandatory in my mind back then. I made a decision to add creative expressions into my life in a way that I thought was truly valuable foremost for myself, and then for others.
Step2, I was honest about what I could do and could not do. I knew I didn’t know what I was doing when even thinking about starting a website, let alone creating one, so I sought out info (or info rather came to me as I had the intention of searching). I focused on being honest about what I truly wanted with this project, it wasn’t about making money but expressing myself in a way that created less resistance in my life.
Step3, I did, and am still doing my best to not resist the fact that “yes” I do have a job and I chose to go to it Monday through Friday. I have spent time freaking out silently that I am still there, but as I bring myself back to what’s most important, I find that the progress I am making is swimming along beautifully. The key is, I knew I was and am making progress; so I don’t have to resist where I am at now, because I know I am actively participating in the change I desire to occur, even if its just doing lil by lil what I can.
Conclusion
I’m going to wrap it up here, even though I’m beginning to get on a topic I really want to talk about, but lets save it for another time. Just a really quick note of honesty. I stink real bad right now lol. I’m in my office writing (of course) and I raced off to work this morning after waking up late and totally forgot to put on deodorant. It’s catching up with me, or I hope it’s just now catching up with me rather than I’m just now taking notice lol.
So there are some things to think about when you feel as though life might be tumbling outta control. I hope it helped! Feel free to leave any comments you may have, I sincerely enjoy hearing any feedback or questions you may have.
Yeah… that’s bad. I really stink today.
-Tiger
Tags: Depression -, Steps -